Mutant Marathon

So this past week I watched X-Men. And then I watched X2. And then I watched X-Men: the Last Stand. So I get that you can figure out which one is first, second, or third in this trilogy, but why the hell do they have to name these movies so inconsistenly. I mean, what's wrong with X-Men 2. Psh to 20th Century.

Anyways, that's what I did for a week.

The funny thing is, I thought this series would suck. I guess it's cuz I watched Spider-Man 3 right before I watched the X-Men movies.

Yeah so you can guess that I kinda like these movies. But you know, they're not perfect. And I'm gonna briefly talk about each one and then sum it all up.

X-Men
This movie was awesome. It brought you deep into the storyline of a race of mutants whose DNA diverged from the majority of the human population, thus giving them unique abilities that normal humans wouldn't have. If you're familiar with the X-Men series, then you'll recognize such characters as Wolverine, Cyclops (douche), Jean Grey, Rogue, and Professor Charles Xavier. In the beginning of the movie, you follow the story of Rogue as she runs away from home. Her ability is to be able to suck out life force and gain abilities from whoever she touches. Because her power is dangerous to her loved ones, she decides to flee. She ends up meeting Wolverine and shortly after gets attacked by other mutants. The X-Men come to save her and take both Wolverine and Rogue to Charles Xavier's mansion/school thing for mutants. Magneto, the leader of the opposing force of mutants, plans to mutate all of the normal human beings in order to make them like himself and his fellow comrades. In doing this, he hopes to get rid of their fear of mutants. However, this machine kills people after a short period of mutation, and it is the X-Men's job to stop him. And that's the first movie in a paragraph.

X2
This is my favorite out of the three. Magneto isn't the main villain in this one. Instead it's a scientist named Striker who wants to kill all mutants. Since all mutants now have a common enemy, Magneto teams up with the X-Men. I'm not gonna go all into detail, because if you weren't hooked at the description of the first movie, you're not gonna like this one.

X-Men: The Last Stand
The final movie in the trilogy, Magneto resumes his position as the villain and again wants to wipe out humanity. The humans are not completely defenseless though. They have developed a cure to the mutants that comes in the form of a cartridge on a needle. These are used in place of bullets in guns so now the humans can fight for their cause. [SPOILER ALERT, IF YOU DON'T LIKE SPOILERS DON'T READ THIS PART: Magneto must seriously hack of something. He got stabbed with 4 doses of mutant cure and he still has his power. What the fuck.]


Good job Marvel. Continue to make movies like THIS. Or better. Because these, again, were not completely flawless. But why start with the bad. Here are some of the things I liked about this movie.

What's the first thing you notice in all three of these movies? How about some CGI? The movies can't be done without them. And since these movies require CGI for their effects, they sure did a great job with them. It was very enjoyable to watch and I caught myself staring at some of the effects rather than watch the actual movie.

The storyline is pretty captivating. Even though I've never actually read an X-Men comic book in my life, I could easily enter the world of the mutants and pick up on some of the main elements that I needed to understand in order to get the full effect out of the movie.

And good job killing off Cyclops. What a douche. Oh whoops, was that a spoiler?

Anyways, there were some things that I didn't like about the movies. One main complaint I have is about the actual character representation. You know what I'm talking about. The first example that comes into my head is Wolverine. But before I get into that, let's talk about the other X-Men. Storm, Cyclops, Jean Grey...they all have pretty unique powers. But they don't really have flashy suits. Even in the comic books. So it's fine if in the movie they just wear all black. But wait. What the hell? Wolverine? Why the hell are you wearing black? That is not what I wanted to see. I mean, ok so the comics were made a while back, but that doesn't mean you can just change up the costumes to fit the time. Costumes are costumes. Bring them back. I mean, it just doesn't fit him. Even Cyclops has his weird optic whatever beam thing on his head that makes him look all retarded. Why not for Wolverine? What I want is some hot slashing action with yellow spandex and black mask with the fin thingies on the top.


Another character with an inaccurate representation isn't as much of a bother, as he only appears in the third movie. This character is Juggernaut. If I remember correctly, Juggernaut, as a dictionary definition, means "a massive inexorable force." WHY IN THE ASS IS HE THE SAME SIZE AS THE REST OF THE CHARACTERS? Ok so here's a picture of him in the movie:

And now here's a picture as he's portrayed in the comic book series:


See the difference? It was pretty considerate of them to have him make an appearance, but I'd rather him not show up at all than have him so embarassingly small. (Is that a word..? I got red-squiggly-line'd)

Another issue I have with this movie is that there are some parts, not a lot, but some parts that just make you wonder what they were thinking. One main example is that characters just die and get killed off and then some just miraculously come back to life. Is that realistic? Oh wait...are mutants realistic? Well they got me there.

So overall, this is a series worth watching. It's probably good if you like a lot of action, cuz that's what you'll get in ass-kicker.

X-Men: 8.5/10
X2: 9/10
X-Men The Last Stand: 8/10

A word on K-On!

This isn't gonna be like a full review, but I just wanted to talk about this.

What?

No. I told you, it's not a full review.

WHAT?

FINE I'LL PUT UP A PICTURE.



So I think K-ON deserves an honorable mention as one of the best animes of all time. The reason why I'm not writing a full review on this is because it's so well known and well liked, that whatever I would say would just be a redundancy of what's already been said.

This anime was recommended to me by Josh and Jay. So here's a shoutout hehe. Best way to describe this anime is a cross between Lucky Star and Beck: Mongolian Chop Squad. It's only 13 episodes long, but satisfying as hell. If you like slice of life, this is for you. If you like comedy, this is for you. If you play guitar, this is for you. If you're a fucking human being, this is for you*.

So go watch it.

However, it's not good enough to replace my #1 favorite anime. Which is actually Lucky Star. Which I'm watching for the 8th time. VivaLaKonata.



*may not actually be for you

Anime Review #16: School Days

So before I begin this review, let me ask a perfectly legitimate question.

...

WHAT THE FUCKEN SHIT IS THIS FUCKEN SHIT?

My hands are literally shaking as I'm typing this review. Or rather, I should say rant. Because that's pretty much all I plan to do with this anime.

I can't believe I'm starting off with an opinion first, but...this anime is so fucked up on so many different levels that it's disgusting. Oh my fucking fuck. Stay AWAY from this series at all costs. Even as I'm saying this, some people are going to be curious and watch it. But no. Don't. Stay the FUCK away from this anime. Don't even read the plot on some website. It's not worth it. Keep your life the same it was. Don't ruin it.

Well now that that's out of the way. I'm going to get back into the
CHARACTER ROLL CALL


Itou Makoto - This is the main guy character of the harem. This guy is might not seem like it at first, but he is the biggest dickhead in anime history. I'll explain why later. He goes to academy and meets all sorts of people, mainly girls. Or rather, only girls. Which makes this a harem. He's just some average guy who looks for love.


Katsura Kotonoha - She is a quiet and kind person most of the time. She's also a bookworm, which, I guess makes her a nerd. Just kidding. Well anyways, she takes the same train as Makoto to get to school, and that's how they got to meet. She is often the subject of bullying to some of her classmates, which may explain a slight hint of lack of confidence.


Saionji Sekai - Another girl that Makoto meets. She is actually in Makoto's class and sits directly next to him. They meet that way. Sekai scores points for having a cool name (sekai means "world"). She's an outgoing person that tries to make friends with people and help out others with their problems.


Kiyoura Setsuna - Sekai's best friend. I'm not sure about the origin of their friendship, but they're pretty much best friends and that's that. She's also pretty quiet, but at the same time is pretty aggressive. She's in the same class as Makoto and Sekai and is the class president.


Katou Otome - Probably the least important main character. If that makes any sense. She is in the same class as Kotonoha and usually bullies her along with 3 of her other friends. This is partially because she has had a crush on Makoto for a long time and sees Makoto and Kotonoha hang out together. I couldn't find a better picture...sorry.

Well there are a few other characters, but that's not really important if I'm going to be explaining the storyline. And this time it's not going to be seperate; I'm going to inject my opinions while I'm explaining the story. Cuz I feel like it. And I'm going to tell the whole story. Spoilers and all. Because I assume that you're not dumb enough to do the same thing I did and watch this pile of bull balls.

Makoto is just entering high school. Every day he takes the train to school and eventually he notices that there's a girl that goes to the same school as he does that takes the same train. He develops an interest in her over time. At school, Sekai, who sits right next to him, sees that he has her as his phone's wallpaper (in the anime, there is a legend that if you have the person you like as your phone wallpaper for 3 weeks without noticing, things will go well between both of you). Sekai sees that he does have an interest and does some reconnaissance. She has PE with this girl, and finds out that her name is Katsura Kotonoha. She then proceeds to tell Makoto all about her in order to facilitate his relationship with her.

So it starts up pretty interesting right? When I first saw this, I was like, "Wow, the storyline is pretty interesting." Oh by the way, my opinions are in italics. So this kind of opening should probably lead to a good story progression. Or so I thought. I seriously thought that this anime would be decent, just like Clannad or Kanon or even K-ON (which I'm going to do a review of later). But TOO BAD they had to FUCK it up with the worst ending ever. Even though the opening song is all cheery, and the art is all colorful, and there is some usage of comedic relief, you can tell that this anime has a dark mood. You can just tell.

Sekai pushes Makoto to have a relationship with Kotonoha, but Makoto is hesitant. Finally Sekai arranges lunch on the roof with the 3 of them. Makoto is simultaneously happy and scared shitless. But they seem to hit it off fine and they continue to each lunch on the roof daily. Soon after Makoto confesses his feelings to Kotonoha and she accepts him.

Alright, first of all, what kind of anime just starts off the first episode with a confession. And yes that was the first episode. I'm not saying it's bad, but it's so radically different that I had no idea what to expect for the rest of the anime. I'm not sure if that was a good thing or bad thing, but at this point all you care about is what's going to happen with Makoto and Kotonoha.

I'm going to fast forward this part a bit. Makoto and Kotonoha have dates just by themselves periodically, but in the beginning, Makoto is a little agressive and Kotonoha runs away. He always tells Sekai about what happens on each date, and every time she criticizes him for not taking Kotonoha's feelings into consideration. Eventually, he learns to be a good boyfriend to her, and their relationship goes well.

Nothing much to say here except what I've already said.

After some time passes, Makoto wants more. And by more, I mean, he fucking wants to have sex with Kotonoha. Kotonoha doesn't really like the idea of it, but she really tries to please Makoto the best she can. And as a result, their relationship takes a downfall. Makoto goes to Sekai for advice, and she does something bizzare. She offers to be practice for Makoto.

Ok this is where I utter, WHAT THE FUCK, when I'm watching. I have quite a bit to say about just this little part. WHAT THE FUCK IS MAKOTO THINKING? He should have known by now that Kotonoha didn't like to be treated like that but he kept doing it anyway. Secondly, WHAT THE FUCK IS KOTONOHA THINKING? Don't girls have more self-respect than that? If she doesn't like it, then she doesn't like it. DON'T FUCKEN LISTEN TO THAT FUCKER. Thirdly, WHAT THE FUCK IS SEKAI THINKING? Remember, we're not talking like practice like talking to people and progressing in conversation. We're talking SEXUAL practice. WHAT THE BALLS IS UP WITH THAT. Sekai's not even Makoto's girlfriend and she shouldn't even be bullshitting around with Makoto like that. And back to this self-respect issue, these girls must really be carefree or something, because this would never EVER happen in real life. Not in America at least. Maybe in Japan.

Makoto agrees to this practice, being the perv that he is. And pretty soon, Makoto forgets that this is practice, and all he wants to do is sex it up. Sekai has to keep reminding Makoto that Kotonoha is his girlfriend. Pretty soon, he can't hold it in anymore and ends up cheating on Kotonoha for Sekai.

Now that's fucked up. Now I know I said that this anime is fucked up, but no, this isn't even the worst part. As bad as cheating on your girlfriend is, this still doesn't equal the shitbomb of dicks that slaps you in the face at the end. And you know what the weirdest thing is? Sekai didn't even seem that bothered by it. Occasionally she would remind Makoto that Kotonoha that she was his girlfriend and refuse his requests, but other than that, she was fine. I thought that was really strange until I watched later in the series and saw why.

Kotonoha, if she wasn't into it before, was now into the relationship. However, at this point, Makoto was secretly out. He had lost all interest in Kotonoha and instead directed it all to Sekai. Kotonoha always tries to find time with him, but Makoto avoids her and makes excuses for why he can't go. Sekai then reveals that she really did like Makoto all along. Which would make sense, because you'd see her in the beginning looking at the two and then running away. But now that she revealed her feelings, the relationship just took off. And this really confused everyone at school. Previously, they all knew Kotonoha as Makoto's girlfriend, but now word got out that Sekai is now Makoto's girlfriend. Kotonoha isn't completely oblivious, and she did overhear from some people about this. However, she thinks it is all a mistake and refuses to believe any of it. Until she goes to the roof. She is about to open the door to the roof when she overhears Sekai confess her love to Makoto. She leaves the door and walks away.

Again, Makoto is a dickhead. All he wants is sex. Why do you go after another girl, when you already have one that loves you?? Is he fucking insane in the head? Did he like replace his brains with his balls?

Anyway, Kotonoha eventually finds out for sure that Makoto is cheating on her. She sees him dance with Sekai at the school festival at the bonfire, and she starts to cry.

Some more fast forwarding, Sekai falls a little ill, and finds out that she's pregnant. With Makoto's baby. She talks to him about it, and he starts to go a little crazy. Sekai wanted to keep it a secret, but she couldn't contain herself and yelled at him to take responsibility. And that's how the school knew that Makoto and Sekai were having a baby.

See this would NEVER happen in something like Kanon or Clannad. Well I take that back; in Clannad After Story, Nagisa was pregnant with Tomoyo's child, but that's because they were married at the time. This is fucking high school. And is Makoto like some kind of horse's ass shoved up an elephant's ass submerged in a bunch of diarrhea doo doo ass shit? He expects to have a relationship with Sekai, even after cheating on Kotonoha, but now he wants to drop it because she's having a baby? Did he fucking lose his damn balls up his head?

But the ending is the worst. I swear to asses and dicks that this was the most horrifying ending I have ever seen in an anime to date. To be honest, I was even shaking a little. Oh by the way, did I mention that besides Sekai, he goes around having sex with other girls? While he's in a relationship with Sekai? Now it's pretty bad to cheat on your girlfriend for another girl, but when you cheat on THAT girl for like 3 other girls, you're at the bottom of the septic tank. You don't even qualify as shit. And sorry for not putting this in italics cuz it is an opinion. Okay on to the story.

Makoto's obviously freaking out that Sekai is going to have a baby. One by one the girls that he had relationships with start to move away from him, telling him that they don't like how he's acting. Except for Sekai and Kotonoha. Sekai wants Makoto to properly father the soon to be born child. And Kotonoha has gone delirious. She went fucking insane. And that's no exaggeration. After Makoto chose to go with Sekai and he told Kotonoha that he didn't like her anymore, she just lost it. Even when her number was blocked on his phone, she would call and just pretend to talk to him. However, because Makoto has lost all of his girl buddies, and Sekai is pregnant, his only option is to turn to Kotonoha. (There's something wrong here. He dumped her, but now since he can't get anyone else, he went back. What a pile of dog dicks.) Kotonoha's insanity disappeared and their relationship resumed as if nothing had happened. Sekai later gets a text message from Makoto telling her to get an abortion.

Here comes the most fucked up part of the anime. Just remembering this gives me shivers. The next night, Makoto is at his apartment with Sekai to try to tie up loose ends. Sekai goes into the kitchen to get tea, and then Makoto's phone rings with a text message in his room. He goes to get it while Sekai gets the biggest knife she could find in the kitchen. While in his room, Makoto sees that the text is from Sekai. Confused, he looks at it and it says, "I'm sorry." The text message scrolls down for about 50 lines, and he scrolls all the way down, and it says, "Goodbye." He turns around and Sekai is right in front of his face with the knife. Sekai proceeds to stab Makoto over and over again until he's a bloody mess on the floor. Sekai realizes what she has done and runs away to her house. Kotonoha later finds Makoto dead in his room. Sekai is huddled up in a corner in her room when she receives a text from Makoto's phone saying to meet him at the school roof. Sekai brings a knife and goes to the roof. Instead of Makoto, she finds Kotonoha. Of course she's going to be confused because Makoto isn't there. But Kotonoha puts that thought down and says that he is here and points to a gym bag on a bench. She tells Sekai to look inside and inside is the decapitated head of Makoto. Kotonoha then pulls out a bloody butcher knife and stabs Sekai in the chest, spraying the air with blood. She cuts down the body and concludes that Sekai was lying, because she couldn't find the baby in her. Later, Kotonoha is seen on her family boat drifting off into the sea with Makoto's head in her arms.

O_O

O_O

O_O

WHAT IN THE FUCKING SHIT IS THAT FUCKED UP MOTHER FUCKING MONSTROSITY PIECE OF GARBITCH SHITBAG BALLSACK OF FUCKED UP DIARRHEA DONKEY DICKS SPOUTING OUT JIZZ THAT TURNS INTO A BARRAGE OF BALLS. This officially gets the stamp of fuck from me. And that's from the bottom of my heart. What the hell kind of ending is this? I sincerely thought from the beginning that this would be a decent series. And so might you, if you ever dared watch this. But the ending...nobody can be prepared for it. You have to be REALLY fucked up to cut off the head of your boyfriend, then slice up the girl he got pregnant, and then sail off into the ocean with his head in your arms. Did they really have to go that far? I mean I'm just freaking out at the ending. It's a pile of SHIT. It's...I mean. WHAT THE HELL. And to my knowledge, the visual novel that this anime was based off of did not have an ending where all characters live. That's fucking right. At least 1 character dies in each ending. And in one ending, 2 characters die. Now, if you make an anime adaptation out of that, you might as well be fucked up the ass with a porcupine. WHY in the mother of crack would you ever make an anime series out of a visual novel like that. Why does this series need to exist? So stay the hell away from this anime. All the stuff I talked about above should satisfy your curiosity so there's no excuse to go and watch it on your own. Overall, this series...oh my fuck. I mean, it's just like taking something good like Clannad, but then smothering it with the violence of Elfen Lied. Speaking of which...guess what anime review is coming soon ;D

Storyline: 2/10
Characters: 7/10
Art/Animation: 8/10
Uniqueness: 8/10
Overall: 4/10

Anime Review #15: Shakugan No Shana/Shakugan No Shana Second

So chances are, if you're a senior reading this, you're probably taking AP Literature, which most people complain is a pain in the ass. Especially since recently, AP Lit students would have to read and analyze a book called Beloved, the main target of "fuck you's" and "suck my dick's". Why? Well from what I understand, the book's confusing as all hell. Different metaphors and symbolism make this book virtually impossible to read, unless you're in a group.

Now why the hell am I talking about this? Well, as much as I'd hate to say it, the level of confusion generated from reading a copy of Beloved very nearly matches the amount of confusion that results in watching Shakugan No Shana.

Don't get me wrong, I didn't say it was a bad series, unless your idea of bad is confusing. I will admit it's hard to get into and stay into for the first few episodes.

So what's all this? Shakugan No Shana has 2 seasons, which I'm going to combine into one review. Both are around 26 episodes and the 2nd season is pretty much a continuation of the first, which just makes it a super long story.

Oh, by the way, I might stop doing character roll call, because the character descriptions and plot description overlap which makes stuff redundant. So let's just jump into the story.

Sakai Yuji is a normal boy. Or so he thinks. On his way home from school, he is entrapped in a space frozen in time and dislocated from the rest of the world. And then a monster appears and starts eating all the humans in sight. While everyone is frozen in the space, Yuji is still able to move around, but he still doesn't, because, of course, he's scared out of his ass. The monster notices that he isn't like the other humans and begins to attack him, and now he's really fucked up the ass...until...BAM. A red haired and red eyed girl with a blazing sword cuts off the monsters arm and gives it what for.



Ok pause right here. See why it's so difficult to get into at first? If you were already at this point in the anime, you'd most definitely be like WTF. And it doesn't help that they throw out some weird words like, Flame Haze, Tomogara, and Rinne. But I'll get to those as they come by. Back to the story.

So this girl rips apart this monster, which is called a Rinne. The girl is called a Flame Haze, and the job of the Flame Haze is to keep order in the world by stopping any Tomogara from disrupting anything. Tomogara disrupt the world order by consuming "power of existence." Power of existence is what allows humans to exist in the world. If a human's power of existence gets eaten, they no longer exist, and anything that ever had to do with them also vanishes, leaving behind no clue that they ever walked the earth. However, this causes a lot of disruption so the job of the Flame Haze is to replace the dead humans with replacements called Torches. Torches are fake humans that replace the dead ones and gradually fizzle out and don't exist. This minimizes the chaos caused.

Wait that wasn't story, that was explanation. HERE'S the story.

So after the girl rips apart the monster, she explains all of what I just explained to Yuji. And then she drops the bomb: she tells Yuji that his real body was eaten long ago by Tomogara and he is a Torch himself. He can't believe that he was really dead. However, the Flame Haze seems to be indifferent about it. Alarmed and upset, he tells her that this is a huge deal to him, but she doesn't care. All she cares about is her job as a Flame Haze. Yuji asks for her name, but she claimed that a person who's "just" a Flame Haze doesn't need a name. Yuji, desperate to prove that he is real names her Shana so she doesn't have to be "just" a Flame Haze. In the same way, he vowed to live for the rest of his life to prove that he wasn't "just" a Torch.

So that's pretty much what happens in the beginning. There are a WHOLE lot of more concepts to grasp in this anime, and that may turn some people off. But stick it through and you'll find that Shakugan No Shana delivers a whole bunch of entertaining story.

Even though I gave you a basic plot, the actual story of Shakugan No Shana and Shakugan No Shana Second is even more complicated than that. For one thing, it makes use of the story-arc style. In most short animes like this, there would just be one main storyline and that would be it. Instead, it adapts the style of animes like One Piece, Naruto, and other on-going anime series. There is no one main enemy, but each story arc introduces a new villain and the character's tactics to defeat him/her. But in between this story-arc style storyline, there is one main storyline that takes place at school and at home. This is the drama that Yuji faces in his life involving his friend Yoshida Kazumi and Shana. Both Yoshida and Shana fight each other for Yuji's love. It's the most stereotypical idea in modern animes, but it's surprisingly interesting to watch because it just makes you wonder, which one of them will Yuji choose?

I know I didn't introduce a whole lot of characters, but there is a very big character list for this series. Sigh...ok next time I'll include a character roll call, because this review is very lacking in a character descrption. But I'm too lazy to change it for this one :D

For an anime that's classified as action, fantasy, and romance, it actually satisfies in all three areas. The complexity of the plot just ties in all of these elements into one package. It just really amazes me how there's such a perfect balance of these things.

Oh and by the way, the opening and ending songs rock your face off.

Did I miss anything? I'm not sure. It's been a while since I've reviewed anime but I'm gonna change that. Overall, both series were very original and stunning in their design and I'm gonna have to give this one high marks. Cuz it deserves it. But only give it a watch if you really have the time, as it takes a while to get used to all these weird ideas thrown at you.

Storyline: 9/10
Characters: 8/10
Art/Animation: 7/10
Uniqueness: 10/10
Overall: 8.5/10

VG Review #11: Pokemon Ruby Version

Nice box art.

This is a game that Jeff and I picked up through the form of emulators and ROMs. We originally started this game because we thought we could trade over the internet, but that didn't work out so well, so we just played the game individually. Which was ok, but Pokemon is better when you play it with other people, right? That's what the trading and battles come in.

We both went about the same pace and completed the basic game (which means beating the Elite four - or in this case, 5). So it's time to talk about it.

There are lots of people who have played this already, so I'm sorry if you HAVE played this and read the same things that you already know, but for all of you who were too lazy to pick up a Pokemon game, this is what it is.

In this specific generation of Pokemon, the 3rd generation, there were 3 games made: Ruby, Sapphire, and Emerald (which was kind of like a different game, but still in the 3rd generation). So being that there are 3 separate versions, each game is going to have something different to offer. In the case of Pokemon Ruby, there were Ruby-exclusive Pokemon, including the one on the cover, Groudon. The storyline makes Team Magma the bad guys and Team Aqua the good guys, while in Pokemon Sapphire, Team Aqua is evil and Team Magma is good. This also changed up your strategy a bit. If you happened to be playing Ruby, like we did, you might have gone with Mudkip as a starter Pokemon because Team Magma sometimes uses fire-type Pokemon, as their name implies.



This game is RPG based, which means you take turns, but I feel like it should have its own genre. So because your power is based on your level, which is based on your experience (EXP), then you're probably going to have to do something called "grinding".

Ok, how do I explain grinding...alright it's like this: you want your Pokemon to be on par with all the other Pokemon you fight, or even higher, so you repeatedly fight the same enemies over and over to slowly build up your EXP to gain levels. In Pokemon, grinding isn't that time consuming, as opposed to other RPG games. It's also kind of necessary if you don't want to be given a hard time by other Pokemon trainers or wild Pokemon. Especially the gym leaders. Gym leaders are assholes. They always heal up their Pokemon at the most inconvenient times.

Another big part in RPGs is items. But unlike traditional RPG games, Pokemon does not base their item selection around equips (the equipment worn or held by party members to boost stats). Instead, this item selection is mostly based around health. In every Pokemart, you will find things like potions, status heal, and revives. There are some stat boosting items, like xATTACK, but for the most part, items are more suited for endurance in battles.

And of course you can't have Pokemon without one of the most important items in the game: the Pokeball. The basic Pokeball allows you to capture weakened, wild Pokemon and treat them as your slaves. So whip them up into shape and make them fight. Hahaha...animal violence. Why's this game rated E again?



In addition to your basic Pokeball, you also get a wide selection of other Pokeballs suited for whatever situation you're in. Great balls and Ultra balls are more powerful versions of Pokeballs and can also be found in older versions of Pokemon, but Ruby also has other types of Pokeballs. Some are more effective against certain types of Pokemon. For example, the Net Ball is effective against water-types and bug-types. Pretty sweet. The best Pokeball is the Master Ball: a Pokeball so effective, it has a 100% chance of catching anything at full health. But there's only one in the game. Unless you use cheats. WE LUV GAMESHARK

Alright it's time for opinions. Starting with me, Matt. I think I've played Ruby at least twice all the way through, but both times I used a guide book. I can never play Pokemon without them. Ruby was the first Pokemon game I actually beat and it was actually very satisfying to play. You can't go half assed into the game though. If you don't buckle the fuck down and get your game on you'll probably be quitting midway because of all the bombardment the game rains down on you. So you better be prepared.

The game is considerably lengthy, but not as long as I was expecting. If you really get serious, you can probably beat the Elite 4 in 10 or less hours of gameplay. But if you do that, you'll be missing all the little extras. Like catching the rare Pokemon that nobody cares about. Also if you rush, your Pokemon will probably be as weak as Magikarps. So take the time to grind. You'll be throbbing with power.

The game wasn't hard, but it sometimes made you think. And I kind of like that. In other games like Zelda, you'd be thinking so hard that you black out from sheer frustration. Then you'd wake up and run to a computer for an internet walkthrough. With Pokemon Ruby, secrets could be found, even without a guide. It might take you about 4 additional hours to uncover everything there is in the game, but that's why it's good. There's so much to do in Ruby, you don't have to stick to the game's flow. You can go off and do your own thing. You can go catch Pokemon, you can grind, you can go to Safari Zone, heck - you can even gamble at the casino if you wanted to. It gives you a lot of free range to do what you want most of the time.



Going back to the difficulty, the difficulty of the game was greatly reduced from other Pokemon games, from what I can tell. I remember playing Pokemon Fire Red, the GBA remake of Pokemon Red. Gary, your rival in Fire Red, starts off like you, with a level 5 starter Pokemon. About 3 minutes later, your Pokemon is around level 8 or 9. He comes up to you and demands a battle from you...with his level 16 starter. Now what kind of fucking sense does that make? Gary hax, ok? But your rival in Ruby is kind of like your new friend, and not an enemy-like character. So it seems like he or she (depending on the gender YOU pick) is going easy on you. But it could be my imagination.



The last thing I have to say about Pokemon is don't play it alone. I mean, it IS satisfying to beat the game by yourself, but the real challenge is training your Pokemon to become strong to beat your friends in battles. Battling against the AI is no fun, especially since they're dumb as Slippy in Starfox.

Actually, I lied. One more thing to say. If you're going to play this game, if you haven't already, avoid playing it on an emulator. When you play Pokemon Ruby on an emulator, all clock based events are dead. Which means that things that should happen according to real time don't happen. For example, if you used a GBA version of Ruby and planted seeds, the next day you'd play it, you'd see a new tree. If you used an emulator and did the same thing, it's like time is frozen and the seed never sprouts. If you don't care about that kind of stuff go ahead and use an emulator and a ROM, otherwise, use a real GBA or borrow one.

Gameplay: 8/10
Controls: 10/10
Difficulty: 5/10
Graphics: 8/10
Music/Sound: 9/10
Overall: 8.5/10


So here's Jeff to give his opinion on Pokemon Ruby:
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Okay, I've played Ruby when it first came out in like the early 2000's and kept going back to it a couple of times, probably around 5-7 times. Each time I've been able to push through it, and found motivation to continue playing. That is, until I've beaten the Elite Four. After that, I didn't really find much I could continue with, what I wished for in this game didn't come true (being able to go back to the previous worlds) and I basically gave up.
To me, the graphics are refreshing and new, quite flashy along with slight changes in the gameplay that distinguish it from previous generations. These changes were positive and I'd say this game was a good upgrade.
What keeps me going on these games is pretty much nostalgia and the inner fan of Pokemon in me. Going back through the generations of Pokemon gives me a rush.

The pokemon of the game, the new generation of them, I'd say are pretty good in terms of creativity, but this is where I feel is the downfall of new ideas for the world of Pokemon.

What I have to say about this game is that, please stop making new ones, it's getting harder to keep up and to run through the same concepts of gaming over and over again. It's comparable to the numerous "Dynasty Warriors" games. Aside from that, this game was a fun game, though I am only able to run through it once each time I pick it back up.

Graphics: 7.5
Music/Sound: 6
Controls: 10 (Can't go wrong with that)
Gameplay: 7.5

VG Review #10: Little Nemo: The Dream Master

Holy shit, why am I doing so many VG reviews? Lemme answer my own question. I feel kinda guilty for leaving Blue Yoshi dormant for over 3 whole months and now I'm bombarding it with posts. But since I have nothing new, I'm just doing video games. And sure, why not NES games.

Here's a non-biased, brief explanation of this game. Little Nemo: The Dream Master is a game that was made on the NES about a boy named Nemo. Nemo is invited to Slumberland by the princess so they can play together. It's a sidescrolling platformer and has around 8 levels.

Ok, here's the biased version. This game was made by Capcom.

FUCKING KNUCKLES!!! YOU MEAN CAPCOM??? THE ONE THAT MADE THE MEGA MAN SERIES? AND THE STREET FIGHTER SERIES? AND THE RESIDENT EVIL SERIES? AND FUCKING BIONIC FUCKING COMMANDO???

Uh huh.

YAY.

I'm not a huge fan of Capcom, but many people are. And they have this reputation for making kickass games that can still be played today, even if they're old school, and especially if they're next gen.

This game was overshadowed by the glory that the more famous series radiate. It also didn't help that this game is damn old. The only reason I found out about this game is because I just heard the name and heard the claim about how great it was. So I looked into it.

Sorry, I'm going to skip back to the story. For more detail adding. From the intro sequence, I guess you're supposed to infer that the story takes place in 1905 in New York. And I just look at the city and I just have to take their word for it. I suck at history and I wouldn't know anything about what New York looked like in 1905. So a blimp comes down right next to Nemo's bedroom window and a messenger from Slumberland tells Nemo that the Princess has invited him to Slumberland. Nemo is skeptical, but the messenger gives Nemo a gift from the princess. Nemo recieved...candy. He then loses all suspicion and agrees to go with the messenger up to Slumberland.

OK STOP RIGHT THERE. ALL YOU KIDS WHO ARE READING THIS, DO NOT GO WITH ANY STRANGER THAT GIVES YOU CANDY.

For fuck's sake, why the hell would they include that in a CHILDREN'S VIDEO GAME? Are they fucking RETARDED??? Even Nemo says, "I guess anyone who's smart enough to give me candy can't be all that bad." FUCKING HELL. DON'T LISTEN TO NEMO, HE FREAKEN HALLUCINATES A BLIMP AND A MESSENGER FOR DAMN DING DONG FUCK (actually those are part of Slumberland, but they're still not real). I don't know what this game was rated, but it's probably not E. Capcom...the video game molesters.

Anyway, so you're taken up to the first level in Slumberland. This freaky clown character walks up to you and tells you that you can use your candy to put animals in a sleep. And guess what. It's true. You have to use 3 pieces of candy in order to make the animals sleep. Once they're asleep, you just touch them and then you like, become them. Either that or you get to ride on them.



First of all, why is Nemo using candy, a GIFT from the princess, to feed animals. Isn't that kind of rude? Secondly, why do you need 3 pieces of candy? Why not just 1? Thirdly, WHAT KIND OF PSYCHIC POWERS DOES THIS BASTARD HAVE TO BE CONTROLLING ANIMALS IN THEIR SLEEP?

Let's talk about animal powerups. In this game, there is a frog, a gorrilla, a salamander, a fish, a hermit crab, a hornet, and a mouse with a hammer. Yeah...awesome. Each one has an ability and some have the same abilities as other ones, with slight differences. For example, fish swims rapidly, the hornet can fly, and the hermit crab can burrow. But it's like every animal HAS to have a drawback. Let's take the frog for example. The frog can swim pretty fast, and can jump very high. But his walking speed is super laggy. The salamander can run fast, walk up walls, but his jump is pathetic.



To pass a level, you're going to need the help of these animals. But when you first start the game, every animal hurt you. Yes, that's right. Even the animals that give you powerups can inflict damage onto Nemo, unless they're in the candy induced sleep. On top of that, there are animals that don't even give you powerups, but their main goal seems to be to kill you. Well there are some characteristics of animals that give you powerups and here are some.
-They only move from side to side.
-They eat your candy.
-They look nice.
Seriously, all the other animals in the game look like hell monsters. But the animals that give you powers look adorable and happy. You'll just know.



In Super Mario Bros, you clear a level by hanging onto a flagpole. In Mega Man, you clear a level by defeating a Robot Master. In Tetris you pass a level if you have enough points. Guess how you clear a level in Little Nemo? It's pretty unique, actually. In each area, there's a door stationed somewhere with multiple keyholes, usually 6 of them. Scattered throughout the level are the keys needed to open the door. I think in only one level, there are more keys than there are keyholes, but other than that, you pretty much have to find every key available. Sometimes it can get real tricky. The keys' locations aren't always so obvious. Sometimes they're even barely visible. How is that fair...? So after you collect the keys, you stroll over to the door and unlock each lock and get through to the next level. Simple right? Heh heh heh NO.

This game is one of the hardest I've ever played. And this is coming from a guy who uses emulators and save states. SAVE STATES. AND IT WAS STILL HARD. You really have to get your perfect mode on. Otherwise, you're just going to fail over and over again. If you beat this game on the actual console, without save states and all those computerized sneaky cheats, then you're the man. The game will bow down to you. But I highly doubt that anyone has done this.

For a game with no bosses, the levels can get really challenging. There are infinite respawning enemies, hard jumps, and crazy hazards. Actually there are bosses in the game, but they're in the last 3 levels only. And those bosses don't fuck around either. You step in there, you just turned down the mercy dial. All hell will rain on you.

This game was actually really fun to play. I would have thought that HAL Laboratories would've made this game, since you take on so many powers from enemies, like Kirby. Well, maybe because I play Kirby a lot, I like this game. But it's still enjoyable. Even though Capcom sent out a bad message for kids, they made an enjoyable adventure. If you ever do get the chance to beat the game, even with cheats, the ending just makes you feel satisfied, and during the staff credits, you just sit back and reflect on all the hard work you put into saving Slumberland.

Then you say, "What the fuck am I doing? Time to go back to homework."

Gameplay: 8/10
Controls: 9/10
Difficulty: 9/10
Graphics: 6/10
Music/Sound: 8/10
Overall: 8/10

VG Review #9: Super Mario Bros. 3

This is the first post of 2010. Sorry that there hasn't been a post in a long long time. Colleges and school and all that shit. We haven't written anything in here for so long that we forgot how to blog. I think.

This game is awesome. The whole world has an agreement on what the best NES game is, and this is it. There is no flaw in reasoning. It's just a completely fun game from start to finish. Even if you don't like platformers, there's a good chance that you'll find some enjoyment from this.

Surprisingly, I found that not very many people had played this in the past. Well, not as many as I was expecting. I myself have played through this game 3 times. It's that addicting. If people have played this game, they've probably played it on the GBA version, Super Mario Advance 4: Super Mario Bros. 3, as people who have NES consoles are a rarity.

It's pretty much the same game, but with a graphical enhancement. I haven't played the GBA version, so I can't go into detail about the differences, but if possible, play this on the NES. Playing SMB3 on the NES just has that old feeling that you appreciate when you play and, eventually, beat the game.

As the name implies, this is the 3rd installment of the Mario series that was built on the NES. Probably a worthy successor to the very first Super Mario Bros, because Super Mario Bros. 2 was a scam. I'll probably get into that in another review.

So like any good sequel does, this game surpassed the other Mario games by far and introduced you to 8 different worlds of spectacular levels and powerups. It had a new storage system which allowed you to pack away about 20-30 other items that you won in minigames, and then you could use those same items for later when you need help finishing a level.

One thing that caught me by surprise when I first played SMB3 was how generous it was. Every 3 levels, you're guaranteed a 1up, if not more. If that's not enough, Toad Houses are stationed at each world to give you items for storage and up to 5 1up's (or a 5up) if you are really lucky. In the first SMB, the only way to get 1ups was to go around hitting every "?" box until you find one by chance, or get 100 coins. So if you just played the first SMB and go right to SMB3, you'll probably feel the same way at first. Also, powerups were scattered in every level, and if you don't bullshit around, you can end each level equipped with a raccoon suit or a fire flower.

Then, as I progressed further into SMB3, I realized why the game was so generous with the extra lives and powerups. The game is hard. Damn hard. I'm not sure why, but towards the middle is where the game starts getting really tricky dicky. So make sure you stock up on lives. All the generosity the game showed you in the beginning just set you up for the game's betrayal.

Especially at the last world, World 8: Dark World. I think the AVGN puts it best when he says: "Especially when you get to the last world, it can get real challenging. This part doesn't fuck around. It's like, you got to the end, you DARE to play, WELCOME TO HELL."

The gameplay is like the gameplay of SMB1 and SMB2 mixed together. It still has all the "?" block and all the coins and all the things that were in SMB1, but it's not as straight forward as SMB1 was and takes on a SMB2 style of the environment. In some levels, this means you have to choose which door to go into, which pipe to enter, and figure out where the exit is. But it's challenging, and even that can be fun. Figuring out where to go isn't insanely difficult, and the timer gives you plenty of time to figure your shit out.

I think it's time I made some comment on the sound. This is the epitome of classic video game music and some of these themes even stand up there with the original Super Mario theme. Some of the sound effects are also taken right from SMB1, giving you a nostalgic feeling. It's just nice to listen to and pretty much defines the game for you.

This game is recognized for everything...gameplay, controls, sound. And now it's recognized by me as one of the greatest games of all time.

Gameplay: 10/10
Controls: 10/10
Difficulty: 7/10
Graphics: 9/10
Music/Sound: 10/10
Overall: 10/10